… the play-maker has the ball and is set to release the striker. The striker is primed to run and meet the ball five yards ahead. And when the opposition defence knows it can’t intercept the pass, it instantly decides to brake and trap the exuberant striker offside.
The playmaker kicks the ball, the defence retreats just enough to let the excited striker get ahead of them all, the linesman waves the flag as though he has a train to stop and blows the whistle. The striker is crestfallen and falls back.
But isn’t the flag called the ‘offside’ flag? Yes, it is.
Why am I calling this site ‘The Onsite Flag’ then? Because it doesn’t exist, because it will make you sit up and take notice and because you will shake your head at the absurdity of it, and yet like it eventually. Acquired taste, you see.
Just like everyone else, I am trying to contrive to be seen as special, intelligent, smart, intolerant, whatever… And so, I’ll start off with something absurd and stick to it for as long as I can.
I might post fake news, short works of satire, blow my own trumpet, and at times, write something sensible that is usually construed as regressive and absurd by the Neo-secular, modern, liberal,progressive intelligentsia.
And so, I couldn’t think of a more appropriate title than The Onside Flag – an essential implement for those trying to lead a sane and happy life in the sensation-scavenging, adulation-mongering world of today.